Today I spent a lot of time searching. Not just searching for the remote control (Caleb is a complete remote hog!) or where Seth may have stashed Rob's lawnmower key...the only one we have.
The search is based on this reflecting question: Are there dark spots in my heart that may be keeping God from answering my prayers?
I asked God today to reveal my sins, even the teeniest of them, so that I could confess them to him and repent. Um, let's just say that God wasn't silent today. There's a lot of chaff in my life! Impatience, un-gentleness, laziness, worldliness, dishonesty...I could go on, and God DID go on, but this is awfully public and painfully personal.
I can't tell you that God is gripping us punitively by the shoulder because of these, but I can say with certainty that it doesn't matter how small the sin is, it keeps us away from God. Sure, I know when I'm being rebellious, and at the end of the day, I do feel sorry for whatever it is, yelling at one of the kids or choosing not to do something I know would be a blessing to my family just because I don't feel like it or watching a television show that dishonors God, and I do confess these to God. But I seem to be just as impatient or lazy or worldly the next day. Am I abusing God's grace???? God, please forgive me!!! I know that I can't be perfect, but I also know that I can make a better effort in many areas of my life.
Thank-you, God for the sacrifice of Jesus. I know that when you look at me, you see a daughter redeemed. But you are calling me to a deeper life...and I wanna go!