I-FAQ's (In-Frequently Asked Questions)

As mom to many, I must face an invariable list of questions every day. Several times a day. Some examples include:

Mom, can I have candy?
Mom, can I watch a show?
Mom, can I have a snack?
Mom, how many more minutes until lunch?
Mom, what are you making for lunch?
Mom, is this lunch or dinner?
Mom, can I have a snack?
Mom, how many more minutes until dinner?
Mom, what are you making for dinner?
Honey, how many more minutes until dinner?
Honey, what are you making for dinner?
Mom, can I have a snack?

Sigh. There does seem to be some paranoia in my home about food.

People! I feed you. Several times a day. I never forget. Don't worry!

Anyway, this week, I decided not to focus on the countless questions that may very well do me in, and instead highlight the more unusual questions that came my way, some of which hurt my brain.

Here's a sampling:

Rob: Are you wearing a girdle? (His way of telling me I looked svelt, I guess.)

Seth: Does God have a belly button?

Lily, to me as Rob was leaving in his dress blues to officiate a wedding: Is Daddy getting married?

Lily: Does Jesus stay up all day AND all night?

Caleb: Did Jesus use his own powers or God's powers? (Think about that one...)

Caleb: Do you think that I'll discover a secret power I never knew I had? I know it's not flying or super strength.

Caleb: Can I have an R2D2 cake for my birthday?

Rob: Is our ceiling leaking? (Why, yes it was.)

Gabriel: How does a seed turn into a baby, and how did it get in your belly anyway? (After several rounds of, "Go ask your father," and "Go ask your mother," Gabe decided to go to ask.com, at which point I officially intervened and forbade him from asking that question on any web browser.

Seth, loudly, as a young man with beautiful, long black hair helped us as Walmart: Mom, is that a boy or a girl?

Okay, off to get an ibuprofen.